Crossover Conversations Roundup Post (Part 1)

The Meme

Al Gore (RPF/Politics) & Ianto Jones (FPF/Torchwood)

"A...cure for global warming."

"Yes. Reverse the damage that's been done, prevent further with minimal lifestyle changes. Very neat and tidy."

"And you invented this."

"Oh, no, not at all. I'm the...salesman, of sorts. Although I don't suppose this takes much selling."

"No."

"You don't, however, seem as excited as I'd imagined."

"My DVD sales were spectacular. I was working on a sequel. And don't raise your eyebrows at me like that, I haven't said no."

"I'm sure there are plenty of causes that have no slideshows, sir."

"Well, there's no competing with PETA, they have hitmen, so 'save the animals' is out."

"AIDs is probably due for a resurgence."

"This isn't really a normal conversation to be having, is it."

"I don't remember the last time I had a normal conversation. I'll be in touch."

---

Kevin Jonas (RPF/Jonas Brothers) & Bruce Dickinson (RPF/Iron Maiden)

"It's not for me, it's for my daughter."

"Of course."

"You could at least pretend to believe me."

"Um, I didn't - "

"You're a little obvious."

"I've heard that before."

The guy – someone important, but Kevin didn't catch his name in the rush – laughs, tugs on his scarf a little. Always the scarves, but come on, that can't be the only reason. "I bet you have. And if you want to pretend, mate, you can't roll your eyes when you say 'of course'. Professionalism, and all that."

"And if you didn't pull the 'I'm way too good for this' act while trying to get something from me, I wouldn't have to pretend, would I?" Kevin should stop talking, right now, because twenty bucks says his dad is close enough to hear this and there's already a lecture waiting. No more fighting with Joe right before meet-and-greets longer than twenty seconds, he's too bad at controlling himself when he's edgy.

Small Hairy Important Guy arches an eyebrow. "I expected you to be cheerier. Make it out to - "

"Chris? Toni? Pat? Something unisex, right, that's probably your name but I can't prove isn't a girl's?"

"I think I'll call Disney, their control appears to be slipping." He sounds amused, not annoyed; Kevin needs a nap, or a coffee, or...something. "Make it out to Kia."

"I – oh. I – sorry."

"Although if you have an extra copy lying around you want to make out to 'Chris, Toni, Pat, something unisex', I'd treasure it forever."

---

Tico Torres (RPF/Bon Jovi) & Uther Pendgragon (FPF/Merlin)

"My God, Arthur was right."

"Excuse me?"

"You will address me with the proper title, you – whatever-you-are."

"Sorry, excuse the fuck out of me?"

"Clearly, respect is not something your species believes in. If – and that's a rather large 'if', Creature – we keep you alive, I suppose that will need to be worked on."

"Creature? Jesus, what the fuck?"

"So Arthur was right about that, as well. Capable of speech, but your vocabulary appears rather limited."

"So now you're calling me stupid? Alright, buddy, that's it."

"Guards! You may restrain the wolf man again."

---

Troy Bolton (FPF/High School Musical) & Margene Heffman (FPF/Big Love)

"Oh, thank God, if I had to keep counting cars that were driving by I was gonna get into quadruple digits."

"Yeah, well, most people are jerks, and the rest probably assume you have a cell phone."

"I do. It's dead. And I'm late, like, late, and late I can handle, late is no problem, late just needs, like, a smile and a hair flip or something, but not showing up at all and not calling takes a little much. And this is maybe the third time my hu – boss, my boss, has sent me to a meeting on my own, and I'll never see one again if he finds out, and I hate everything today."

The impossibly handsome guy with really nice hair (seriously, don't guys who look like this only exist, much less stop for broken-down cars, in movies?) smiles at her, and okay, maybe Marge doesn't hate everything. "Feel better?"

"Um, yes."

"You can use my phone, if you need."

"That – no, thanks. I have – I depend on my address book. The only numbers I remember are work and home, and...not happening." Because, God, Nikki and Barb finding out about this would be ten times worse than Bill.

Handsome guy shrugs, still smiling a little. "Whatever," he says, and walks over towards the hood.

"Um, I think something...snapped, or something." Very eloquent.

"Oh, awesome. Snapped is good."

"Good?"

"Well, no. Snapped is bad, but I know what snapped means. I might need your pantyhose."

"Oh, so that's why snapped is good."

He grins at her, but he's blushing - younger than he looks, maybe?

"Yeah, well. Uh, your fan be - "

"I'm not gonna know what anything you're about to say means."

"Right. Pantyhose," he says, holds out his hand. "Oh. You probably, uh."

Marge smiles a little, walks around the car so she's hidden from the road, hikes her skirt up probably higher than she needs to (he's not peeking, at least not when she glances over. Good samaritan all the way through, which...well, it's not showing off for him if he's not looking, right? So she's fine.) When she hands her pantyhose over he's blushing again, cheeks just a little darker gold than the rest of him, and he sets them down to take off his button-down, work in only a white tank top.

Strip car repair. If more mechanics looked like this guy, the idea could be a big seller.

"Shouldn't be too long."

"Take your time," Marge says, and leans back against his truck bed, watching his back as he works.

---

Rick Savage (RPF/Def Leppard), Joe Jonas (RPF/Jonas Brothers) & Joe Elliott (RPF/Def Leppard

Why does he look like he wants to eat me?"

"Bad day, I think," Sav says, attempts to look nonchalant but his eyes are a little shifty.

"Right."

"Sorry. For someone who's spent his life doing it, you'd think he'd be better at pretending he likes people."

"Jon said he would like me."

"That's the problem," Sav says, quietly, and wanders off.

- - -

"So, okay, I guess you guys are tight with Taylor, or something, so I don't know what she's told you, but - "

Joe snorts, laughs a little. "Bloody Hell, it's been too long since I was a teenager. Don't you think it'd be a bit pathetic for a man my age to get involved in any of that?"

"Um. Yes."

"But you thought I did anyway. And you wonder why I'm not a bleedin' ray of sunshine."

"You didn't know I thought that. So why'd you tell Jon - "

"I didn't tell Jon a thing, Princess. Don't confuse what he said while you were shagging with anything I said."

"You can't just say that, there's people around!"

"I'm not hearing a denial."

"Uh."

"Right. Well, this has been lovely, but I - "

"Why the fuck is that any of your business, anyway? It's not like I did anything wrong, he said he and his wife have an agreement, and - "

"Do I look like anybody's bloody wife?"

"I – oh."

---

Parker (FPF/Leverage) & Nick Jago (RPF/Black Rebel Motorcycle Club)

"Whoa, this alley's supposed to be empty. Hardison?" The comm's dead. Awesome.

"Where'd you come from?"

"Uh, the roof."

"Cool."

"What? No."

"Did...wait, did I ask a question?"

Parker tilts her head. "Uh, no. But 'cool' isn't – well, it's true, but you're supposed to say 'there's something wrong with you' or 'why would you jump off a roof' or...something."

"Oh. No one told me there was a movie set nearby. I'm not part of this, I don't have a script."

"It's not a movie."

"You're confusing."

"You're confusing."

"I just said that."

"I know."

"Okay."

"Well, glad that's cleared up. Hardison!"

"I was looking for pizza."

"In an alley?"

"No, at a pizza place. The alley was a wrong turn."

"How do you confuse an alley for anything?"

"It's dark."

"You're wearing sunglasses."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

O...kay. "Uh. There's a pretty good pizza place a couple blocks over."

"How'd you get off the roof without, like, dying?"

"Magic," Parker says, but when the guy looks at her like he might actually believe she's magical, she wiggles the cord that's still attached to her harness. "And, uh, I actually need to go now. Enjoy your pizza," she says, unhooks herself, and walks off to find Hardison and the van.

"Wow. Shit is weird when I'm sober."